The Good – The True – The Beautiful

I write this last post about the tragedy that happened last week.

Excerpt from Inspiration by Wayne Dyer:

“What follows is one of the most poignantly inspiring letters I’ve ever read, written by my dear friend Ram Dass to the parents of a young girl who’d been brutally murdered. Even in such horrific circumstances, Ram Dass was able to provide inspiration. I reproduce this moving letter with Ram Dass’ permission in order to help you see how it is possible to transcend violence with inspiring spiritual energy.”

Dear Steve and Anita,

Rachel finished her work on Earth and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently.

Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror, and desolation.

I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I, for your pain is Rachel’s legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let your grief find expression—no false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience.

In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other, And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: why this had to be the way it was.

Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts—if we keep them open to God—will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on Earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.

In that deep love, include me.

In love, Ram Dass

These words say everything I feel and know and want to hope for. I will not speak of this event again.

Always in love,

Sheila

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So often when we are with those we love who are suffering, our natural inclination is to try to fix things. Or solve them for the person. Or …the worst  – tell them what to do.

What is really needed though is to simply hold the space for them to be with what they are feeling. No judgment. No advice. Just love. Just holding.

As Oriah wrote:

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

This, I believe, is what we need to do when attempting comfort for those suffering with such grief.

Just Be Present. Love will guide you in all of the rest.

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When I was 6-yrs-old in 2nd grade at St. Anthony in Akron, OH, we went to Mass every morning. The 1st and 2nd graders sat in the front rows. I was sitting on the far right end of the pew one morning and this “crazy” guy ran into the church and bashed his arm through the stain glass window in the back of the church on the right hand side. I looked back and saw all of this and heard the screaming and I simply got up and ran to the side door to escape. In my little mind, I thought he would certainly “get me.” He was right on my heels… I remember seeing all of the blood on him… I just ran as fast as I could and he blew by me.

I was terrified. I remember it vividly to this day whenever it happens to show up in my mind. It is like I can feel it all over again.

I remember the teachers telling us to be very careful when we went home for lunch, etc. I was so scared I didn’t know how I was going to be able to walk home the 3 blocks…

I think of those little kids today and I am sick with sadness and grief – for them in that very moment and now and for their families. I can’t imagine how scared they were and confused and now gone.

Crazy and evil has always existed.

I pray for all of us.

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Integral Life Design
Sheila Mikulin, M.A.
Integral Life Coach

Completion of 2012 & Welcoming 2013

Closing  2012  

What successes am I celebrating? (Insights, accomplishments, highlights, milestones)

What challenges, disappointments or frustrations helped me grow in 2012?

What acknowledgment can I give myself about this past year?

What was my biggest discovery about myself this year?

What was I most grateful for?

What worked for me this past year that I want to maintain next year?

What made time fly the most when I did it this year? What was a waste of my time?

What truly satisfied me this year?

  Creating a compelling future in 2013 

What wants to be set in motion?

What is a loose end from 2012 that I want to claim and incorporate into my intentions for 2013?

What do I want to welcome in as a new beginning?

What is an empowering place to start 2013 from?

What am I willing to commit to in this New Year? 

How will I risk becoming more real and alive?

What do I resolve to be conscious and aware of?

What is next for my life and how can I consciously create what I want?

What change will I invite?

What do I need to leave behind or let go of in 2013?

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