The Space of Loss

by Sheila on June 14, 2010

Many people who suffer a loss with a physical disease, often consider it a “blessing.” I have found that it is not “putting on a happy face.” They mean it in the most profound and peaceful way. I find this such a fascinating phenomenon.

My brother’s best friend, David, was paralyzed in a car accident. He once told me that if God reached his hand down and attempted to touch him to heal him, he would roll away. Because that is all he could do is roll. He felt that the gift he was given was just that…a gift. I wrote a post about him …my very first blog post was when he died:

My mom had Parkinson’s Disease. I found out while I was in grad school while taking a pharmacology course. My paper for the course focused exclusively on all options for managing this disease.

At the time, my mom was pursuing psychological intervention – something in the psyche (energy) that could possibly be uncovered and released. Coming from a Jungian perspective, I was very happy about this. And, I wanted to bring in all perspectives including drug intervention.

I really love Michael J. Fox and Alex P. Keaton and Marty McFly, and of course, Stuart Little. Michael said PD is the “gift that keeps on taking.” I was drawn to reading his books after mom.

I just read his recent book entitled, “

He said one of the most beautiful things I think I’ve ever heard. Here’s my summary:

When we have a loss, we seek to fill it with things…that stop the pain. If we let it be (that space) and feel that pain and allow for whatever might fill that space then… the options present.

MJF said, within this space of loss comes choices and perspectives. He got that knowing about his disease helped him live with it. He learned. He studied. He gathered facts. And all of this added to the quality of his life. The knowing and learning helped him.

Here’s what I know to be true.   Here’s what I wrote about David back then:

– Here’s what inspired this …. My brother’s dear friend, David, passed
away from this physical world recently. I started to say, “I didn’t
know him well.” But, that is not true. I did. I simply didn’t have the
pleasure of talking with him very often over the years.

One only needed
to talk once with Dave to know him. That’s because he was transparent.
His heart was wide open and he showed you who he was in every moment.
He was fearless that way. He was beautiful.

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