There are people who take the heart out of you and there are people who put it back.
According to Susan Scott, in Fierce Conversations, “An emotional wake is what you remember after I’m gone. What you feel. The aftermath, aftertaste, or afterglow.”
Are we responsible for how others feel? Well..no. But do we have an obligation to simply be aware of our impact? Yes.
Every person is responsible for his or her own emotional happiness. We have absolutely no control over how another person is going to react and we cannot control it.
And, each person must step up and take responsibility for how they respond to people and circumstances in their life.
Are there times we know things and choose to look the other way for our on benefit? And on the flip side of that, are there times when we are holding expectations of another and then feel let down?
This all being said, it seems for me for that the only thing I control is being completely aware (as best as possible) of my IMPACT. I certiainly try to insure my emotional wake leaves behind one that inspires and ignites rather than deflates and demoralizes.
Does this mean there are not tough conversations – no, of course not. I let people down. And, I can be known to hold an ideal of what I want rather than what really is.
How can I share with them a different perspective that might enable them to view their actions through a different lens, yet still uplifts them?’ ‘How can I help them grow while still letting them know that they are perfect where they are?’ How can I be honest about my feelings while allowing theirs. It takes a dialogue.
We are always at choice. How might I examine my own emotional wake in the moment and act lovingly and with honesty? And be true to myself and them in my current perception of what they might be feeling. It is tough. Yet, I really believe that as long as we stay present in the moment, we will do this.
I believe that if we are to be happy and have good relationships, we need examine our behaviors and then speak to them honestly to those we have impacted. Life is short. We all die. Be as true and good and honest and kind and giving and loving as we can to every person we encounter. Stop hiding. Take respnsibility. Own your shit. If you don’t know exactly what your shit is…spend some time examining yourself.
You see by being deliberate about the vibe I am sending, making the decision that I am an uplifter, that my intent in every interaction is to leave an emotional wake that buoys not drowns, well I give myself every chance to get it right more often than not.
What about you? What emotional wake are you leaving behind? Use this moment of choice.
