Dad’s Visit

by Sheila on August 19, 2010

My dad and Helen just left.  They decided that parking the RV on the street in Cleve Hts was maybe not the best idea.  So, they are headed out to Punderson for the night and will come back tomorrow.

They showed up a bit early today (by about 4 hours!) and I was still working with clients so it was a bit of a scramble to get everything and everyone settled.  It all worked out as it always does, yes?

Dinner was great; Helen and Dad brought ribs and did all of the cooking while I did what I needed to do.  The fresh veggies were especially good!

My friend came and turns out we didn’t need the buffer I mentioned but it was still very nice.

There is nothing that makes me more happy than sitting at a table and sharing a wonderful dinner and talking…about old times as most dad’s like to do.  Some other family members can get bored with the old stories, but I like to actually get my dad going on them because he loves reminiscing (don’t we all as we even get a bit older!) AND I love hearing them ever again.

It’s really all about connection in the end.  Connecting through our shared history and love.

My dad went on a white water rafting trip years ago with a group of friends of mine and he and my visiting friend shared stories of this time.  I kind of sat back and felt this expanse of warmth.  I guess it reminded me that I am connected when often I can feel not so…

He can’t imagine going again on a trip I’m planning for next May, yet I now know that there’s just new great stuff around the corner.  I like that, and I sometimes forget that.

I wonder if it is all about being “in action” in our lives.  What do I want to do today as I awake to this brand new day?  It is all really a mystery…what will come.  It sort of changes the mindset of how one approaches the day.

I like the idea that each day we get to say yes to what we decided yesterday or NO.  We are always at choice.  I really do love that.  It really is a new day as cliche ( I really do not know how to spell this and Google also is not sure!) as it sounds.

I once read a quote from a Jesuit priest, “The only response to waking each morning is Thank You.”  I love this.

Life can certainly be difficult. One might at times think not waking up would be better. It never is…better.

God put us on this earth to learn how to love.  It is part of our whole spiritual journey.  And, the journey does continue after this life.

My dad is 74 and wants to stick around as long as he can.  He was the baby of 14 and there are only 4 left. He seems to be doing pretty well and that makes me darn happy.   I have wonderful memories of all of them and those who have gone.

I want to be better for my dad.  Who knows, I might go before him.  I want to let go of old wounds and hurts and just love him.  I hope he can love me.

I aspire to be peaceful and loving in this moment.  I want to be free of guilt and regret.  We think time is linear, but it really is not.  I believe that what is happening always existed and that we chose it for ourselves.  So, then there is no regret.

I felt this in a pretty profound way during dinner tonight.  My dad said something about how he was a bad father and I had never heard him say this.  And, it broke my heart.  I wanted to say something different to him and didn’t.  The “take care of” me wanted to reach out.

It’s his journey coupled with mine in this very moment. I had to just let it be.  This is a new thing for me.   And, I love him.  And, I got this in the deepest sense. It has nothing to do with what he did when I was a child.  It is who he is this moment for me and with me.

Hey God, thanks for giving me my dad.

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